I AM RIGHT- Part 2

Taking off from yesterday’s topic on competition. 

There was one section where I mentioned,

"In the whole process of justifying our problem, we do not realise that what we are doing, we are creating more crap in our own universe because we are continuously trying to prove we are right".

I just wanted to expand a little more on this.

This lady came across and as she narrated her story on how she was wronged in her family, tears rolled down her face. I gave her my full attention and told her that she can choose differently and the only thing that would come out from her was BUT they did not do this, or WHY did they do this? She was not listening. All she wanted to do was prove that they did her wrong. That she is right.

When we go into BUTs and WHYs we are not looking for a solution.

However the important thing here is that when someone is in the whole justification mode, the person is trying to prove their point so much, they so badly want to be right that even if it can be resolved they do not see that and in stead of sorting it they create more of the same situations that they want to get out of  so that they can be right.

It goes somewhat like this:

X: I am upset because they did not pay attention to me

Me: Choose differently

X: But you don’t understand my situation. They did this and this and this.

Me: Stop Choosing this

X: But they like them better

Me: You have choice

X: (in her head) she doesn’t know what I’m going through. The subtle thought behind that thought actually is, how can I show her that they are doing me wrong?

So what you actually want to do is be right, and in order to be right you are actually asking for more of the same so that you can prove you are right and they are wrong.

Really! Is that what you want, more and more crap?

Would you like to stop playing this crappy game and start being happy?

Start choosing differently. Stop and look at your feeling. Stop trying to sell your story. Stop trying to prove your point.

Ask what’s really going on here? How can I handle this?

Don’t get stuck in trying to be right, in trying to be right you are only creating more wrong.

Have a fun day

Be free not right

~ Storyteller- Aarti Asrani