Dealing with the War within (Part 2)
There other devil in this whole scenario is a
mixture of competition & fear. When we are competing with others we don’t
trust our own potential. The common fear is of being different, doing something
else, and what if we fail after doing something different.
I was there, everyone around me was talking
about a certain class and I thought that I too must do it. But I was feeling
little heavy about the same. I was in a conflictual universe. I was
aware of something but blocking my awareness, which was creating a lot of dis
ease in me.
I started off by asking myself some questions;
Do I really want to do this?
Answer: May be at some point but with ease.
Then What is this? What is that I'm not aware of
here?
What awareness am I refusing?
Sometimes we avoid the awareness because it does
not fit in with our definition of being good. And since childhood we all have
been asked to be good, and being good becomes more important than doing what is
true to us.
There were 2 things that came out of it.
1) I realized that one of the reasons I wanted
to do the class was I did not want to be left behind. The only reason I was
choosing it was because of competition because in our childhood we are always
told, "look at X,Y, Z what they have achieved”, and since then we cut off
our own reality, what we want, to looking at others and mimicking them. That
moment I knew one of the reasons I was choosing the class was because I did not
want to come last, I wanted to be like the others and not be left behind. I was
worried that everybody else would go ahead achieve more, but then I was doing
competition there. I have to be true to me, not what everyone else is doing.
When we are doing it from that point of view we
believe in lack, and I was functioning from lack, especially when you want to
do other things but you choose this only because of money.
Ask : If money was not the problem what would I
choose?
And yes, I got the awareness that I would choose
more ease with this class, I would rather do the classes I have been wanting to
do and not get caught up in competing with others or the enticement of half
price.
Society, people around us and our own judgments,
at times make it so difficult us to choose for our self, what would contribute
to our life. But in order to be happy and fulfilled we have to start choosing
what is true for us.
It is also about choosing for the day for the
moment. No choice is wrong.
Who said I have to have only one choice. One day
I can choose something and another day I can choose something else there is no
right no wrong
Have fun with creating your life that is true for you
~ Be You Be True Be Awesome
~ Storyteller - Aarti Asrani